Log in

About this Journal
Current Month
Apr. 15th, 2006 @ 09:51 pm Update?
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
It can't be. Half a year has gone by since I've updated? I guess that's why Myspace does to you.

Today started out shitty. My 500 dollar camera is.broken. The manufacturer's warranty is sure to be expired. I use that thing everyday. I can't be without a camera, but I don't have the extra money lying around for a new one. :( Art is going to take it to this camera shop by his work and see if they can fix it (hopefully if so for less than 200). The Easter Egg Hunt party was AWESOME (thanks Sam/Art for the invite). I couldn't imagine a more fun place for kids. Kelsey had a really good time, so did we.

Now we're waiting for people to show up for our poker game. As we were leaving the Easter Egg hunt it sounded like a great idea. But after drinking beer and chasing Kelsey for 3 hours, I AM beat... and I forgot that people like to show up about 2 hours after we tell them too. Ugh, men.

Will try to keep more active.
About this Entry
Oct. 21st, 2005 @ 06:09 pm Chill
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Echo and the Bunnymen/Bring on the Dancing Horses
We've been working on the house all day, and shit it's a lot of work (especially tough with an 11 month old)- but it's very welcomed work. Steve had yesterday and today off and it's been sooo nice. He had oral surgery yesterday, and called in for an extra day today. I miss having him around at night, I'm trying to savor it.

Tonight we're going to hang out together and watch movies or something. Friday nights are usually hell for me cause Steve is at work til Midnight, and Kelsey is in bed by 7 - I get so bored. I'm grateful for tonight. Gonna go pour us some wine, change into our pjs, and CHILL out together for the first time in a long time.
About this Entry
Oct. 7th, 2005 @ 07:49 am Insomnia
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Sesame Street

The last 2 days I've gotten about 7 hours of sleep, combined. My eyeballs are on fire, my legs are weak, and I feel like screaming. Quite fun. I don't know what to do.
About this Entry
Oct. 4th, 2005 @ 06:37 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: fullfat
I am irritable today.

I'm feeling fat, and I'm super tired. Kelsey has went from a baby that has slept about 12 hours at night, to about 10. This past week she has been waking up at the butt crack of dawn, not to mention about 2 or 3 times during the night. When I get overly tired, I eat. I actually saw a Discovery Channel special about this awhile ago. How being tired all the time causes you to eat more because your body is searching for energy, so you get cravings, etc. etc. No wonder I can't get this weight off, I'm always in a perpetual tired state. And even when I can sleep, 3/4 of the time I end up with fucking insomnia. Sleep and/or lack thereof literally controls the productiveness of my days and I HATE it. Steve's shitty shift only adds to my misery. I can't go to bed early even if I wanted to cause I'm the lightest sleeper in the world, and he always wakes me up. And once I've been sleeping and have woken up, forget it - I am up for hours. Then inevitably, once he arrives home at 11:30, sometimes 12, sometimes 1 if he works OT - I want to stay up with him a little bit later since we don't have a chance to "hang out" much during the week. During the days we don't really get a chance with all that is going on. And Steve is really odd, he starts getting ready for work at like noon. Today I asked him around 11:30 if he wanted to go to Lowes to get the blinds, and he said "it's too late, I have to start getting ready for work". Uh, ok. He goes to work AT THREE?! I say this, and he tells me he doesn't like feeling rushed. Whatever, freak.

On a happier note, we should be in the new house soon! :) I cannot wait.

Sam and Jill are coming over in a little bit for our 2nd official business meeting.

About this Entry
Oct. 3rd, 2005 @ 06:23 pm Housewife jabber
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Monday Night Football
We are MOVING!!! Our couches, new tv stand, dining room table, and a bunch of boxes we never got to unpack here are sitting there awaiting our arrival! I am beyond thrilled. I am just so happy.

Today I went to Linen's N Things to pick up the shower curtain and accesories that I saw on their website last night, and they didn't have them. The original one I found was pinkish, blue, and yellow - trendy looking stripes. We currently have yellow towels, so to save us some money I've been trying to find a shower curtain with yellow in it so we wouldn't have to buy new towels. Even though I have been gravitating to blue/brown and pink/brown combos. Buuuuttt, since they didn't have the shower curtain, and the blue/brown one I loved was even cheaper. I decided to go for it. I decided that we're only going to keep hand towels hanging on the "bar" (I can't think of the correct name for the long rod that holds towels). So I just purchased 2 small hand towels that are blue. We will just keep our drying off towels in the linen closet. I stopped at Carol's before going to LNT because Tammy was there and she had 2 coupons for me. (I always throw all the LNT coupons I get out cause I never needed "house stuff" for this house.)

I just got Kelsey to sleep, and man, she is becoming such a little person. At the grocery store today she was laughing and talking at everyone, and she is just... my favorite person in the world. She is starting to look more like a little girl than like a baby, and these new facial expressions she is coming up with are just too much.

I'm going to eat my Lean Pocket, have a glass of Chardonney and get ready for Laguna Beach.
About this Entry
Sep. 28th, 2005 @ 02:25 pm nada
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic

I was in a horrid mood most of yesterday, and finally it's starting to lift.

I really haven't got much to say.

Here is my new playgroup sig. and I don't like it much (and the girl that made it spelled my name wrong of course):


About this Entry
Sep. 8th, 2005 @ 08:22 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Holy shit, it's been awhile. And oddly enough, I find that I don't have much to say.

We're moving in a few weeks and my life feels as though it's on hold. Starting fresh sounds better than fucking winning the lottery at this point. I can't wait to walk into a barren home, so many possibilities. I'm dreaming of the hardwood floors under my feet, the smell of new paint, the echo of our voices as we decide where we're going to put our belongings. I daydream about where I'm going to put my filing cabinets, my shoes, my dragonfly display, my stapler... Here nothing has a place, and I am going to make sure every single thing that we own is assigned a location in our new home. I am already planning it all in my head.

Aside from the impending move I have a few other new things going on in my life.
-Camarilla, not to be discussed at great length.
-paperbackswap.com, I have read 4 books in a week and have a pile of 10 to be read. Right now I'm reading The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. I don't know what to say about it. I've read erotica before (Exit to Eden in H.S., also by Rice), but there is just something about this particular book that pulls me in. Somedays it seems as though it would be nice to be owned and not have to make any decisions for oneself.
-Chasing Kelsey. She is proficient in racing up the stairs and getting to every outlet plug and/or wire in the entire house.
-Baby weight loss support. My online "playgroup" friends and I have started a weight loss support group. Could you BE anymore dorky? Anyway, it's really been helpful having girls there that have babies the same age as Kelsey, and are struggling with weight loss too. Our first weight in is tomorrow and I think I've lost about a lb.
-FOOTBALL SEASON started tonight - woot woot!!! Steve's work (Thank God) has started the infamous weekly football pool. I'm going to TAKE this thing this year! We had to cancel our NFL package b/c it was getting expensive paying for both that and the baseball package (if it were up to me we would have cancelled the fucking watching paint dry - i mean baseball - package, and kept the nfl one).

I'm back... was interupted for a second by a phone call from Steve's Aunt. She has a very thick accent and is pretty tough to understand. All I really made out of our 5 minute conversation was that she sent Kelsey some kind of bench with bunnies on it - one male, one female. She sent it before Kelsey was born. And I have no clue what she is talking about.

Going to eat dinner now.
About this Entry
Aug. 1st, 2005 @ 02:04 pm Reasons why today sucks ass
Current Mood: crappycrappy
It's the anniversary of Ricky's death
My Dr. switched my meds and I am fucking irritable and anxious
None of my clothes fit and it's 100 degrees outside
Kelsey has a nasty diaper rash
I have a zit on my lip
My cellphone isn't working for some reason
I have no reason to get in the shower today
We have no groceries, and I'm too lazy to go get some
My good mood streak from the last few weeks has finally worn off and I'm back to being... me
About this Entry
Jul. 5th, 2005 @ 01:07 am Bad Boys Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do?
Current Mood: draineddrained
So it's a little after one, and Kelsey and Steve are fast asleep. I'm not.

Irma is arriving home tomorrow. It shouldn't be that bad since she's leaving for vegas on Thursday for 2 weeks. Hip Hop Hooooray!

I'm so fucking sick of being fat, but all these diets are waaay hard. Blah.

I think I just need to stop eating. Period.
About this Entry
Jun. 14th, 2005 @ 11:20 am Scaring you yet?
Hidden inside where demons dwell
Guilt surpasses the hope
Lying awake with crippled eyes
Losing my grip
must cope..

Spreading through my body like cancer
Guilt of who I am
Nothing will ever change me
When did I start giving a damn?

Down comes the hail
Pushing me down on the ground
Pummeling my body, breaking the skin
Relief as my head starts to pound

Sabotaging any chance
Letting my cuts stay open
Push me down again
Push me around again
Keep my wounds fresh
About this Entry